Wreckage

My life was a total wreck.

I may have a good home, a secure family, a nice education; I may have everything that can sustain me physically -- food, shelter, water, air, friends-- my life still sucked.

Solomon was right when he said "Life is useless. It is like chasing the wind". It really is. I just drink to get thirsty again. I eat just to get hungry. Fool and wise both go to the grave. There is no difference.

Though I looked well and tidy outside, clever and intelligent in class, inside I am filthy, ignorant and my mind is filled with evil thoughts.

This is true: No one is righteous, fool and wise alike.

Every time I tried  to do good, I ended up doing the things I don't want to do. I liked to gain knowledge in reading but I ended up reading useless things. Nothing is good in me. Nothing is right in everything I do. Doing those things only make me want to do them more often to the point that I would somehow desire them.

When I ventured throught the depths of ecclesiastic pessimism, I found myself treading between the valleys of darkness--a lie that the world considered true. Then I was able to fish out the questions that sparked it all. Who created me?  Who made me exist? Who am I?

I claimed to have answered all those questions right after I asked. God created me. God made me exist. I am who I am.

Time went on, I held on to my answers but still I was living a life that I never wanted to live.

It was all because I failed to answers the third question right.

Every person's favorite word is "I". Selfishness is enthroning yourself as the captain of youself and the master of your fate instead of the One who made you exist.

If we make tools to be used, someone must have also created us to be used as weel. That being should have no beginning nor end. He is God.

We exist to be of use to the Lord. Why then should we serve ourselves when we didn't create ourselves at the first place? 

I guess my life was a wreck because i destroyed it by living as I wanted. Everyone on earth would have ended in the same fate I had if they continue their self-serving lives.

I used past tense. My life then wasn't the same as the life I'm living now. My life if Jesus Christ. To have a full life, live life the way God wants you to. 

  "Delight yourself in the LORD
       and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 Commit your way to the LORD;
       trust in him and he will do this:

 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
       the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."

-Psalm 37:4-6