If My Heart Has Grown Cold...

...there Your love will unfold.

Lately I've been banging my head with a lot of technicalities. I have been doing some research work for the company I'm working for.

My job is not a joke. I had to write letters to big time politicians. Then what am I to them (in a worldly matter)? I'm just an obscure 18-year old barely out-of-school youth. How could I convince them? I don't know. That's why I have to study a lot of their profiles so that I can appropriate my letter to their cause.

However, the downside is that I started to spend my time lesser in more fulfilling tasks like increasing my knowledge in the Word of God, teaching others, nurturing souls, preaching the gospel and ministering of deliverance.

Yeah I consider my job as similar to Paul's tent-making in Thessalonica. It gives my a sense of dignity. Despite that, I have to budget my time--big-time. Oh man! I still have to go to school. After classes I log in for duty. I barely have time to sleep. I also have to help in my family's business in selling cooked food.

I cannot afford to have idle time, though sometimes I take time to be alone-- just me (and of course my best friend, the Holy Spirit) to think of worthwhile things and deep secrets. Thanks to that. I'm still alive.

I'm still alive, though my once compassionate heart has grown cold. Still God never failed to show me His grace everyday. He allowed me to make mistakes and showed me grace by making me stand up again.

Oh thank God for placing a need in my heart-- the need for grace.